Beyond Marketing by Dr. Joe Vitale

Thoughts, news, riffs and reviews by Dr. Joe Vitale ("Mr. Fire!") about marketing, publicity, selling, hypnosis, copywriting, books, fitness, metaphysics, "The Secret" and anything else he cares to comment on, including healing, humor, the Internet and yes, maybe even sex.

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Location: Wimberley, Texas, United States

Author of way too many books to list here

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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Who Do You Please?

I'm about to write the largest check of my life.

I've bought large houses. And expensive cars. And built my own gym. And Catarium. And an entire library for books.

I'm comfortable spending money.

But today I'm faced with spending more than ever before -- for a giant publicity event to help bring global attention to my forthcoming books.

Truth is, I'm nervous.

I'm nervous because I'm afraid of what people will think.

What if they don't like this PR stunt?

I was nervous when I released The Attractor Factor.

But it went on to become a #1 bestseller on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

I was nervous when I began to lose weight.

But now I'm 80 pounds lighter and considered the Charles Atlas of the Internet.

Despite all the successes I can draw on from my past to remind me that everything works out in the end, I'm still sweating.


I think it's because I want people to like me.

I remember hearing Rod Serling, the creator of The Twilight Zone TV series (who I met when I was a teenager), once say that he was as sensitive as anyone else to people's comments and criticisms.

I can relate.

Just a few days ago someone who I considered a friend wrote me a fiery email, so hateful that it shot chills up my spine.

He mis-read, mis-interpreted, and missed the point of one of my blog entries, and in a website mention in my recent newsletter, and he shot through the roof with anger. He wanted nothing to do with me ever again. He condemned me, my experience, and my education.

It was not pleasant.

And that was from a friend.

Then there are the emails I get from complete strangers who don't like one thing or another that I do.

Some liked me better fat. (It's true.)

Some liked me better with a beard. (I looked "hip.")

Some are blunt in telling me what they think, oblivious to how I may feel afterwards.

So here I sit, about to write a check that would make Donald Trump think twice, and I'm nervous.

But here's the lesson:

In order to be outrageously successful, you can't let yourself be affected by others.

You can hear what they say. Sometimes they have a point. But you can't let yourself be stopped by what they say. You have to have an iron will.

Yes, I still care what people think. But in my heart I know I am being true to me.

My mission is to help people go for and achieve their dreams. I'm doing everything I can do make that happen. If people complain about that, then they'll complain about anything.

Truth is, complaining is easy.

Creating is the challenge...and the joy.

I'm a creator.

And now I'm going to write that check.

Ao Akua,


PS - Consider: What positive thing would you do if you weren't afraid of what people thought?

PPS - The above picture is of me and persuasion expert Kevin Hogan of We were hamming it up while my beautiful Nerissa took pictures. We didn't care what people thought. It was a fun time with a good friend. Check him out. His books are excellent.

If you like the free articles on this blog, let Joe know by buying him his all-time favorite gift - an Amazon gift certificate. His email is Click Here!


Blogger malletzky said...

Dear Mr. Vitale,

even if I am the one who should consider getting some advises from You, ( which I sincerelly do, reading almost everything from you since I bought your book "The attractor Factor" ) please allow me to give you an advise about something you wrote on your Blog today.
You say, you care about what people think about you and you want people to like you.
Well, about 20 years ago, I started to live my life differently.
The reason was, I was seek and tired of worrying if other people like me and how they think about me.
In all these years, ( I am 37 years old now ), it came to be the right strategy.
What did I changed?

Well, I said this to my self:

"Let people talk about you!! Let them talk bad or good. Then, as long as they talk about me, I am good, I am succesfull, I am worth of all these words. I should be worry if they don't talk about me any more!! And I don't care if they like me any more. Then, the one who like me, they accept me the way I am."

So believe me, they still talk about me!!
I am succesful, I am good and I am worth of all these negative and positive words about me.
And with your help, I am above to be much better then I am. I changed my points of view and that's why I called my blog Think Positive:-)
And my life, in the last 20 years? Oh, I could write a book about how positive thinking, (even if sometimes I didn't know I think positive), turned my life to be great!

I hope this will help you at least feeling better.

Sincerely yours from Germany,

Saso Eftimovski
Winkelsweg 15
40764 Langenfeld

4:33 AM  
Blogger John Halderman said...


I think many times it is those closest that can get upset the most.
They can take things more personally than do others, in their mind they have a deeper emotioanl committment. Thus more possible emotional energy behind their reaction to what they perceive as wrong by someone they are close to.

Also, someone closer may have a deeper ingrained concept and expectation of the personan and their relationship. Again, a higher possible emotional charge.

As to your natural concern for how others feel, your success in life is evidence that you are not allowing that to stop you.

There is a balance we must find between our care and concern for others and what is best for us. It can become a problem if we focus to far one way or the other.

Too much concern for what others think can cripple us and not enough can make normal interaction difficult.

Just as with everything in life, balance.

Follow your heart.

John Halderman

12:33 AM  
Blogger TalĂ®y`ah Templar said...

G'day Joe!

One thing i've personally learned in my own life is that everyone, even those closest to me like my brother, parents, best friend(s), etc. have their own vested interests in accommodating me.

i think that's true with everyone.

Inevitably, that means our ego would every now and again throw us right into their bad books when we don't meet their pre-conceived expectations even in the slightest. And the barks that results from that can be spectacular!

Not sure you folks know him, but Matt Furey covers this area, and how to deal with it effectively, quite beautifully in his article "Who Has The Thickest Face, And The Blackest Heart". It's well-worth checking here:

Anyhoo, I hope your friend reaps the appropriate fruits from lashing at you like that and wisen up as a result.


9:08 AM  
Blogger V. Booth said...


That's beautiful.


8:35 AM  

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